A High School Biology/English Teacher

Sometimes when kids start asking me personal questions, I just make stuff up.

Apparently, at some point, I told these kids that I'm a big fan of show tunes.  It's weird the sort of stuff they DO remember.

A High School English/Biology Teacher

Student: What do you like to do for fun?
Mr. C:   Torment and yell at students.
Student: Oh... how's your day going so far?
Mr. C:  I'm having a blast.

A High School English/Math Teacher

A student and I decided that this is the Cadillac of staplers.

A Shop Teacher

I subbed today for a shop teacher.

I held an entire class of 27 middle schoolers in total silence for just under 60 minutes by willpower alone.  It was glorious.

A Middle School Gym Teacher.

I subbed for a middle school gym teacher today.

I pretty much just played crazy kickball with the kids all day.

Had a kid trip over a thrown ball and slam his head into the floor.  After a few seconds of the whole gym holding their breath, he still wasn't moving.
I'm really glad there was a parapro in the room, so she could run and call the office while I sat and tried to talk to the kid.
I hope the kid is okay.  When he was finally able to stand, and walk out of the room, he was complaining of not being able to fully see out of one eye...

A 7th and 8th Grade Science Teacher

Student: Mr. C, when you die do they carve out your eyeballs and sew your eyelids shut?
Mr. C: ..........no, not usually.
Student: Okay, good.  [Other Student] was freaking me out.  He said that's what they do.
Mr. C:  Well, different cultures have different beliefs and practices when it comes to death, so maybe somewhere in the world they do it that way.
Student: Oh...

A 7th Grade Science Teacher

I subbed today for a seventh grade science teacher.

I had a short conversation with a group of kids about the word "cool."  It turns out, kids don't really use that word anymore like when I was younger.  It seems that the word "awesome" has replaced it.

A Middle School Math Teacher

I subbed for a middle school math teacher.

He had a great poster on the wall, listing the "Top 10 Ways to Improve Self-Esteem."  Below I have provided you with two of my favorites.

This kid is brave.  If my reflection reached through the mirror towards me, I'd be terrified.

Can you get in trouble for graffiti, if all you're doing is correcting the spelling errors made by the original artist?

A History Teacher

I subbed today for a high school history teacher.

Today was the second day of school.  I had two separate Freshmen, in two separate classes get confused about whether or not I was the regular teacher.

Hopeful

All the local schools start tomorrow.

With any luck, I'll get a subbing gig on day one.  That would be pretty cool.  Last year I was getting jobs pretty solid from day two forward.