On a Roll

It has been a few months since I posted.  In that time I have not had a single experience like the one described in my previous entry.
I have had a LOT of snow days, though.  In fact, today is my 12th snow day.  I really feel bad for subs in the area.

This past weekend I agreed to chaperon a middle school dance/lock-in.  The dance was pretty hilarious; boys along one wall, girls along another.  Eventually the high school National Honor Society students putting it on got kids on the dance floor.  They held a limbo contest towards the end.  I got in line and tried, but fell on my knees on the first attempt.  The kids thought it was hilarious.  One of my 7th graders filmed it, and I got her to email it to me.  The video is awesome because you can hear the girl and her friend narrating.  "What is he doing?!  Can he even make it?!"  I would really like to post the video here, but as it shows dozens of the kids at my school, you'll have to just take my word on how great it is.

Yesterday I had my first puker.  With about 15 minutes left, one of my 7th graders raises his hand and says, "I don't feel good, I'm really warm.  I think I'm gonna be sick."
And then... he did.  All over his books, papers, binder, and desk.  Considering the volume, very little of it actually made it to the floor.
The rest of the class was VERY mature about it.  At that time they were all working on a worksheet.  There were a lot of quite "eeeww"s, but they kept working.
I was (and still am) impressed by their level of maturity.
Later in the day two other teachers asked me about my "morning floorshow."  Apparently word got around.


And the year goes on.

Enlightened.

For a while I forgot this blog existed.  My previous post was just over a month ago, but it feels like a lot more time has passed.
As I discussed in previous posts, I've accepted a full-time teaching job.  We're on week three of school.
Periods 1,2,3 I teach 7th grade history.
4,5,6 I drive down to the alternative ed. school to teach English.
7th hour I drive back to teach high school current events.

So, I'm out of school sick today.  I went in yesterday with what I thought was just a minor cold, something I could just muscle through.  Without going into detail, things got much worse as the day went on.  Come 7th hour, I was more focused on seeing a doctor than getting things around for the next day.
When I got home, I posted for a sub.  Someone I don't know, teaching my kids?  It's a bit nerve wracking.
Because this was last minute, I had to completely re-do my lesson plans for the day.  With that said, though, I think I wrote pretty good sub plans.  I've got a pretty good idea what subs want to know to make their lives easier.

I cannot wait to see how things went.

I've got another sub coming in on Friday because I'll be out of town for a conference.

In Demand

Friday was the last day for the Seniors at [City Withheld]  High School.
This is a school that I have subbed at many, many times, including a couple long-term jobs.  This year's Seniors were Freshmen when I first started working there.  This is the first time I've ever really been able to see a class through their entire high school career (even if I wasn't there every day). 
Knowing that Friday would be their last day, I decided weeks ago that I would not accept any other jobs for that day. A early last week I started to notice a LOT of job openings.  One school had 10 posted positions for Friday.  I began hearing teachers complaints at other schools about how their posted jobs were not being taken.  I felt reasonably confident that if I did not get into my school of choice, I would easily be able to land a job elsewhere.  There were so many jobs that the staffing agency I work for sent out a mass email telling all their employees to "please make yourselves available" to work on Friday.  That's something I'd never seen before.
Thursday morning I accepted a job at [City Withheld] High School.
When I arrived, I discovered a couple major things.  First, the teacher I was subbing for was actually around and in her classroom all morning, and only needed a sub for the afternoon.  It was unclear why the job had been posted for a full day.  Second, a posted job for a different teacher had gone unfilled.  This kept me very busy all day.

Why was Friday such a popular day for teachers to skip?

Also, one of the Seniors gave me a Senior-photo.  I felt special.

A History/P.E. Teacher

I subbed today for a Social Studies/Gym teacher.

Most of my gym classes today played soccer.  I guess this was injury day.  One girl pulled a muscle in her leg.  One girl twisted her ankle.  Two boys tried to catch the ball with their face.  Luckily there was no blood or broken limbs.

The seventh grade history class had an awesome assignment.  They were given a fictional report on a 4000 year old archaeological dig site.  They had to draw pictures of all the items described in the report, and suggest how the items may have been used.  Once they finished, I gave them a picture of the dig site.  It turned out that the scene they read about was a modern motel bathroom, where someone had died in the bathtub.
I thought the assignment was fun.

The final image.

A Pretend 7th Grade Band Teacher

I subbed for a middle school math teacher today.  However, during what would have been my prep hour, I had to cover for a middle school band class.

The whole class period involved the kids watching the Original Star Trek episode, The Return of the Archons.   They even had a worksheet to fill out as they watched!

I don't know how this fits into the curriculum for a music class... but that's not for me to understand.  I just follow directions.

A 7th Grade Science Teacher

I picked up a four day block for a local seventh day science teacher.  This is very odd, as most teachers/districts will hand-select subs for such a long period of time.
It turned out that the teacher has been gone for the past three weeks, and they've had a string of different subs in to cover for her.  This has had a very strong impact on the kids.

The following conversation manifested without any prior context.  In fact, all the other kids were working on an assignment.
A student walked up to me...
Student: "Hey, you know how they dumped Osama in the ocean?"
Mr. C: "Uh...okay..."
Student: "That must make for one messed up Spongebob."
Mr. C: *long pause* "......sit down and get back to work."

A Band Director

I recently subbed for a band director.  I had both middle school and high school classes.

The middle school band got to watch a movie.  The picked The Land Before Time.  A large number of them (mostly boys) laughed loudly when Littlefoot's Mother died.  I know they were just trying to show off how "tough" they are, but it was still disturbing.

One high school "Music Appreciation" class picked Star Wars: Return of the Jedi over the other Star Wars movies.  This isn't a choice that I can understand.


I started this blog in March 2011.  Just recently I passed 10,000 hits.  I think that's pretty good for just shy of two years.

Thank you all!

A 7th Grade Math Teacher

A few days ago I subbed for a seventh grade math teacher.
There was a student teacher, so I expected the day to be pretty easy.  It was still early in her semester, so she was a little green, but over all pretty good.  In fact, the only real issue I had was that she never explained who I was.
Now, just to be clear, I am not trying to "steal her spotlight," nor am I looking for extra attention.  With her Master Teacher gone, it was her time to shine and be a Real Teacher in the eyes of her students. I've been there.  I get it.  However, the concern I had was that I'd only been in the building once before, and the kids didn't know me.  They kept watching me.  I heard many whispers of, "who's that guy?"
A quick, "Mr. Stevenson is gone today, and this is Mr. C subbing for him, but I'll be teaching today" would have been more than enough to keep my presence from being a distraction.

The main teacher showed up during lunch.  He kept saying, "I can't stay," but he was there the rest of the day.  I proctored some tests for him.  He didn't introduce me either.  He just told the kids, "go with that guy."

Also...

7th Grade Girl: Do you like Justin Bieber?
Mr. C.: Never met him.

A 7th Grade Science Teacher

I subbed for a seventh grade science teacher the other day.  It was my first time in the building, and I've only subbed in this district a few times.
When I checked in, the secretary asked me to trade her my car keys for a classroom key.  This was clearly the "norm" for that building, and I handed my keys over.  I wasn't thrilled, though, with the reassurance that my keys were "safe behind the computer monitor."

The kids themselves were awesome.  I had five seventh grade classes, and only one of them caused any sort of problem.

We were watching an episode of the BBC documentary series Planet Earth.  I've got to say, some of the film work was incredibly impressive.  Even the kids appreciated the cinematography.

The scene below was one of their favorites.  It cuts off a bit earlier than I would like, but it is still pretty cool.

 

A Middle School Life Skills Teacher

I had a life skills class today.  Never heard of a "life skills" class?  You might be more familiar with the term, "Home Economics."

My sixth graders were working on advertisements for fictional products.  They had a list of advertisement techniques, and they had to include at least two of them in their project.
Some of the ads were fantastic.
One boy was marketing a "snot remover."  I overheard the following conversation between the creator and another boy.

Other Boy: That nose looks stupid.
Creator: It doesn't matter what the nose looks like, as long as it's full of boogers!

The creator also had drawn in Kim Kardashian, and had her quoted as saying, "This is the only booger remover I rely on!"

A 7th Grade Special Ed Math Teacher

Most of my day today was spent as a band teacher, but it was pretty boring.

During sixth period I subbed in a 7th grade math class.  The school wasn't able to get enough subs to cover all the missing teachers today, so I got to fill in during what would have been a prep period.

As I was rushing to look over the lesson plans for that hour, I noticed a girl standing in the doorway, glaring at me.  The following conversation happened as I looked up at her.

Girl: You!  I hate you! (said with some actual venom in her voice)

Mr. C.: ....oh? Have we met...?

Girl: You got me expelled from [other school]!  That's why I had to transfer here!

Mr. C.: Oh, wow.  That does seem like something I should remember.

Girl:  You got me expelled because I threw a marker at you!  It was last year, in sixth grade!

Mr. C.: I'm sorry, I really don't remember that... are you going to throw markers at me again today?

Girl: (said with a scoff) Only if you get me mad.

Mr. C.: I guess I'll try not to do that.

She did not speak to me again the rest of the class period.  She just sat and quietly worked on her math worksheets; glaring daggers at me anytime I'd walk by.

Eventually I did remember her.  The marker thing had just been the tipping point, when I finally called down to the principal's office and asked for her to be removed.

I had no idea she had been expelled, as I had made a point never to go back to that teacher's classroom.

A 7th Grade Science Teacher

My day was off to a fun start as soon as I checked in at the main office.
It turns out that the online subbing job dispenser made an error.
I accepted my job online at about 5:30am.  I had to hit "accept" a few times, before it would push the job onto my personal job page; this happens sometimes when I click "accept" while the automated system is calling someone about the same job.  It isn't really a big deal, it just means that I have to always double check my personal page before actually leaving for an assignment, since if the person called takes the job, it will over-ride my online acceptance.
Confused yet?  Yeah, the system takes a little getting used to.
Anyway.  I get to the main office, and the secretary was surprised to see me.  Another sub had showed up a little bit earlier for the same job.  Since there was only one teacher gone that day, she hadn't double checked the arriving sub against who the system said would be coming.  So, because I was the one in the system, we went down to the classroom together.  It turned out that this other woman had accepted the job over the phone (which should have closed the post, and not allowed me to accept).  She even said that she had seen the job on her page before she left home.
In the end, I got the assignment, because it was my name in the system.  The secretary felt horrible for not catching the error earlier, and I'm of course left looking and feeling like a jerk for taking the other sub's job.
The other sub was REALLY cool about the whole thing.  I would have been livid.  The secretary and I both urged her to call the agency and ask about what happened.

Much later in the day, one of my 7th grade classes was taking turns reading a section in the textbook.  The topic involved the different way that living organisms are classified.  As you may expect, the word "organism" is shown at least every couple sentences.
One boy, while reading a section, pronounced the word as "orgasm."  Every.  Single.  Time.
I'm pretty sure it was not on purpose, and not a single kid caught onto it.  Even the parapro in the room was too distracted to hear it.
I let the kid finish his section, without correcting him.  When he was done, I pointed out to the class that proper pronunciation is always very important.  I then lead them through a quick verbal exercise on how to correctly pronounce several of the words in the section... including "organism."

An 8th Grade American History Teacher

Today we watched an episode of the History Channel's documentary series, America, the Story of Us.
I love the series, and I've used it in my own (Summer School) classroom.
However, it gets old when you see the same episode 5 times in a row.

When reading the following conversation, keep in mind that this is only the 2nd week or school, and my first time in this building this school year.

8th Grade Boy: Hey, Mr. C!  Do you remember me?
Mr. C.: Oh.  Yeah.  You're that kid.  You did that one thing, that one time.
8th Grade Boy: Yeah! *Super excited, to a friend* He remembers me!

A 7th/8th Grade Math Teacher

School started last week, but I just had my first subbing gig of the year.
I subbed for middle school math teacher.

This particular school starts middle school in the 7th grade, so in some of these classes, these kids were about a week out of elementary.
The 7th grade class had some basic book work for an assignment.  The teacher had it written on the board as something like:
Page 6 & 7
Qs 1-3, 4-24 even, 26-29, 30-38 even, and 41
That seemed pretty straight forward to me, and after some intro stuff, I pointed the assignment out to them and said, "get to work, let me know if you need any help."
After about 2 minutes I realized these kids had no idea how to even approach the work.  They understood the concepts just fine, but when it came to deciphering the problem numbers, and then putting that onto a page, they were lost.
I drew out a piece of paper on the board, and then showed them how to organize it.  After that, they blazed through the assignment.
I'm really glad that I caught why they were struggling.

The following unrelated conversation also took place,
7th Grade Boy: Guess what I might be getting!!
Mr. C.: Umm... a pony?
7th Grade Boy: No, but close!
Mr. C.: Oh... a donkey?
7th Grade Boy: No!  A laser that will shoot all the way across my house!
Mr. C.:  Oh... cool.  I see how that is close to a pony.

A "Science" Teacher

For a lot of schools in my area, this is the last week of class.  For that reason, subbing days are difficult to come by.  I didn't have any work at all yesterday, and today was very nearly the same.  That is, until a teacher called me at 7:30 this morning, asking if I could come in and work for one of her colleagues.  I agreed, but said that I might be a little late, given the very short notice.

I got there less than two minutes after the final bell.

So, the school was on an "exam schedule."  I won't go into detail, but you just need to know that the class periods weren't conducted 1-7, and some of them were longer than others.  Because of this my morning consisted of the same group of seventh graders for four hours straight.  If you follow my blog on even a semi-regular basis, then you've read about this group of seventh graders.
This could have been hell, but the kids were actually reasonably good today.  Incredibly loud, but reasonably good.  The teacher left a couple movies, which helped keep the peace.  I got to watch The Rookie and most of Remember the Titans.  Not the best movie, but a lot better than past subbing assignments where I got to watch the same 50 minutes of the live-action Alvin and the Chipmunks five times in one day.

Later in the day I got to watch Remember the Titans again with a group of exceptionally well behaved Freshman, and also administer a test to the other half of that same seventh grade class.

I may get to go back to that same class again tomorrow.  If I do, it is only a half day, and also the last day of school.  It should be fun.

A Music Teacher

Sorry that I haven't updated in a while.

A couple weeks ago I subbed for a music teacher.  I had classes ranging from 4th grade all the way to high school concert band.

It was supposed to be an easy day.  Classes either consisted of videos or study hall.  The down side was that a school play was being performed right next to the band room during the class period I was supposed to show a movie.  By "right next to," what I mean is, the band room shared a wall with the stage; a removable wall designed so that it could be opened up, making the band room part of the stage.  The wall was closed, but it was by no means sound proof.  Luckily, this class was only 6 kids because the seniors had already left for the year.  We watched the movie very quietly.

The concert band study hall was a joke,  there were 60 kids and every single one of them swore up and down that they didn't have homework.

I did overhear something fun during the 7th grade band study hall.  It made me both laugh and die a little all at the same time.  If you don't know anything about the history of computers or video games, you probably won't understand why it's funny.

7th Grade Boy: Oregon Settlers was one of the first games ever made.  It was on the first computer, called the "Lisa," made by Microsoft.  At first it was all text until later they made graphics.  Eventually they put it on iPod and stuff.

And, before I forget, I've been accepted to teach summer school again this year at the same school as last year.

A 7th Grade Social Studies Teacher

The following conversations happened during two separate class periods.



Mr. C: And that's how a hydroelectric dam works.  Any questions?
*Girl in front raises hand*
Mr. C:  Yes?
Girl: What brand gel do you use in your hair
Mr. C: .......off-hand, I honestly can't remember..... any OTHER questions?
*Boy in the back raises his hand*
Mr. C: Yes, sir?
Boy: Is it "Got 2B Spike Up" brand?
Mr. C: ......*sigh* Yes, as a matter of fact, I think it is.  Good guess.  Now, any MORE questions?
*Several other hands shoot up*
Mr. C:  ...any more questions that AREN'T about my hair? *All hands go down* That's what I thought.  Moving on...

A Math Teacher

I had two seventh grade classes, and one senior pre-calc. class.

I spent both seventh grade classes moving around helping with math.  When it came to pre-calc, I told the kids flat-out that they were on their own.

Today should have been a full day, except the teacher came back early.  I did still get paid for a full day though.
Nothing like full pay for three hours.

An Art Teacher

A few weeks back I spent a week subbing for an art teacher.  She had an unbelievable schedule.  Not only did she not have have a prep period (not common, but something I've seen a number of times), but she did not have a lunch break.  She had a class of two students over the usual lunch period.  She was even double booked during that period, so that she had to leave the two kids alone for part of the hour to teach art in rotating elementary classrooms.
I could have subbed for her for the rest of the school year, but for several complex reasons I decided against it.

On the plus side, she had some really crazy/cool stuff around her room.  According to one Senior art student, she "just builds stuff and assigns projects to advanced students, so that she can have neat stuff all over the room."

I've got a couple examples below.  The teacher built the dragon, "just because," and I'm told that he son built the face.  The dragon also isn't done, as she hadn't finished the wings.

A Science Teacher

Today was the first day back from spring break.  Hooray for being able to earn a paycheck again!

During 7th grade science, I had the following exchange with a boy, after I caught him doodling in a notepad, rather than working on his assignment.
Mr. C: Hey, I need you to put the drawing away for now, and get back to the science, okay?
Boy: Okay. *puts it away and opens his textbook*  I'm drawing character designs for a video game me and (other boy) are going to make.
Mr. C: Alright, that's pretty cool, but right now I need you to...
Boy: *Interrupts* We've decided we're going to war after high school, and if we survive the war we're going to make a game out of our adventures!
Mr. C: ....oh, I see... well... it's good to have plans.  *turns and walks away*
Other Boy: Dude... why'd you have to say IF we survive?

Later in the day I had an upper-level physics class.  One student had grown a rather impressive beard over the break, and was walking around school with a comb stuck in it.  About mid-way through class I looked up from the report I was writing to see two other male students taking turns combing the guy's beard.

Mr. C: Gentlemen, I admire your bold experiment in social grooming... but that beard has clearly become a distraction.  I you don't put it away right now, I'm going to have to confiscate it.
Beard Guy:  Psh, yeah right, we both know that isn't going to happen.
Mr. C: You're right.  That just sounded absolutely absurd in my head, and I wanted to hear myself say it out loud.  But seriously, knock it off and get back to work.

They knocked it off and got back to work.