A Science Teacher

Today was the first day back from spring break.  Hooray for being able to earn a paycheck again!

During 7th grade science, I had the following exchange with a boy, after I caught him doodling in a notepad, rather than working on his assignment.
Mr. C: Hey, I need you to put the drawing away for now, and get back to the science, okay?
Boy: Okay. *puts it away and opens his textbook*  I'm drawing character designs for a video game me and (other boy) are going to make.
Mr. C: Alright, that's pretty cool, but right now I need you to...
Boy: *Interrupts* We've decided we're going to war after high school, and if we survive the war we're going to make a game out of our adventures!
Mr. C: ....oh, I see... well... it's good to have plans.  *turns and walks away*
Other Boy: Dude... why'd you have to say IF we survive?

Later in the day I had an upper-level physics class.  One student had grown a rather impressive beard over the break, and was walking around school with a comb stuck in it.  About mid-way through class I looked up from the report I was writing to see two other male students taking turns combing the guy's beard.

Mr. C: Gentlemen, I admire your bold experiment in social grooming... but that beard has clearly become a distraction.  I you don't put it away right now, I'm going to have to confiscate it.
Beard Guy:  Psh, yeah right, we both know that isn't going to happen.
Mr. C: You're right.  That just sounded absolutely absurd in my head, and I wanted to hear myself say it out loud.  But seriously, knock it off and get back to work.

They knocked it off and got back to work.