a Fourth Grade Teacher (Field Trip Edition)

I subbed today in a fourth grade classroom, in a building I had only been in once.
We went on a field trip to a nature center.  I knew in advance that we would be going on a trip, but I did not really know much of anything about the destination.
The place turned out to be extremely heavy on nature, and very light on center.  Almost all of the six hours we were there was to be spent outside, on what turned out to be a VERY bright, hot day.
Guess which incredibly pale sub forgot to pack sunscreen.
Lucky for me, the group of kids I had to watch also came with a super-mom for a chaperone.  She saw my predicament nearly right away, and simply offered me some sun screen.  She also, later on, gave me a very long lecture on how horrible energy drinks are for your body.

The day as a whole turned out to be a lot of fun.

And, even with the sunscreen, I still managed to get a horrible sunburn on my scalp, because of how I had my hair gelled.

Adventurous

I've accepted a job for tomorrow with the following note attached to it: We will be going on a field trip to Forest Hill- you will need a sack lunch and will want to wear jeans/tennis shoes. Another class will be going also, so there will be another teacher there. 


Not only have I never subbed for this class, but I have only worked in this particular building once.
And did I mention that it is 4th grade?  I avoid elementary jobs like the plague.

It should be an adventure.

An Elementary and High School Computer Teacher

Unless something changes, I'll be in the same job the next few days.  The job is a bit difficult to classify.  I start my day in the elementary library, teaching a computer class to 5th graders.  After an hour of that, I'm a librarian until about noon, when I head to the high school library to be their librarian for about an hour, before finishing out the day teaching a high school computer class.

The 5th graders were working on some internet typing games today.  What's funny is that they are through the BBC, so not only do all the games feature a British accent, but the kids get to spell words like "colour" and "favourite."  I wonder if they even notice the difference.

In the back room of the elementary library they had a 3" tall, super-detailed statue of Dobby the House Elf from the Harry Potter movies.  I'll try to get a picture of it tomorrow.

In the high school, they were putting on a school talent show at the end of the day.  Most of the "acts" consisted of kids singing badly to modern pop songs.  One boy actually put on a magic act, interwoven with a mild comedy act.  He was, by far my favorite... if only because he had the guts to do something so different.

At the end of the show, while the judges were tallying their scores, all of the kids who performed went on stage to sing Don't Stop Believing, by Journey.  It ended with the entire school belting out the song along with those on stage.

Lastly, can anyone tell me if the American Chiller and Michigan Chiller books by Johnathan Rand are as super-popular elsewhere in the country as they are here?

An Art Teacher (Long Term 11)

If all goes to plan, this Friday is my last day.  The teacher I've been subbing for should be back on Monday, though the principal has asked me to stay on-call, in case I have to come back suddenly.
I get a pay bonus after so many days in a consecutive job.  If the teacher comes back for one day, and then I'm called back in, and I get reset back to the base pay, I will be VERY upset.

Kindergartners can be fun...

Little Girl: "Look at  this scary picture!"
Mr. C: *Looks over her shoulder at an undersea picture-find book* "Oh?  What's so scary?"
Little Girl: "It's the mermaid!  She steals all the fishes' souls!"
Mr. C:  "Yeah...?  And... how do you know that?"
Little Girl: "I dunno... I just made it up."
Mr. C: "Oh, okay, carry on."

An Art Teacher (Long Term 10)

I had some memorable moments today.

After reading to today's kindergartners, they got to roam around and find books to check out.  A few minutes in, a little boy runs up to me with a large book, featuring a close-up picture of an alligator's jaws on the cover.

Boy: Mr. C!  Look at this big bastard!
Mr. C: ....what?
Boy: Look at this big bastard!
Mr. C: ...say that again... what am I looking at?
Boy: This big bastard!
Mr. C: That's what I thought... you know, kiddo, you shouldn't say that "B" word, it's not a nice word.
Boy: But, my dad says it.
Mr. C:  I'm sure he does, but that's a word for adults to use...
Little girl: (blurting out) my brother calls me that all the time!
Mr. C:  ...

A few hours later, during my 7th grade art class...

Mr. C: Alright guys, I know a few of you are still finishing up your project, so I want to give you one last day before we start something new.  As for the rest of you, I expect you to either be working on other homework, or working on one of the free draw prompts.  And, stay out of the paint.  If you're free-drawing, you can use crayon, pencils, or markers.
Girl: Can I use glitter?
Mr. C: No, glitter always makes a mess, and we're running low anyway.
Girl:  But Mr. C!  I need to have color!  Glitter is my favorite color!
Mr. C: *starts laughing* ...okay, thank you... I need to write that one down...


I also discovered today that one of my 7th graders is a 3rd cousin.  She couldn't get over how "weird" that was.

An Art Teacher (Long Term 7)

In addition to teaching art classes, I spend a period each day in the library.  The first 20 minutes are spent reading the elementary kids, followed by 20-25 minutes of supervising them while they check out books, and then the rest of the time I shelve books.

I had a group of kindergartners in today.  They come in the same day every week, but today they were exceptionally squirrelly.  They wouldn't sit and listen, they were hitting each other, they were tattling on each other, and just generally behaving like a box full of ferrets.
When the teacher came back and asked how they were, I told her that they were having a very loud day, and had trouble sitting still.  She nodded, thanked me, and instead of lining them up to go, she herded them into the side-room that serves as the elementary library.  I went about my business shelving books.  A few minutes later she came out and said that they needed me in the room.
I was pretty sure I knew what was coming, but I didn't know how to react when the following came...

Teacher: 1...2...3...
25 Kindergartners: ...We're sorry we were... dis-re-spect-ful...we promise not to do it again...can you ever for-give us?
Mr. C.: .......yes, of course.  Thank you....

I couldn't get out of that room fast enough.

Later in the day, during Yearbook, a senior boy decided he had to "serenade" me with the song Hero by (I think) Enrique Iglesias.

A Third Grade Teacher

It has been a while since I've covered a single elementary class.

Today's 3rd graders managed to be excessively loud AND reasonably productive, all at the same time.

Early in the day, after I had explained to the kids that I was leaving their teacher a note, and that it already contained several references to their excessive volume, one kid managed to sneak me a slip of paper while my back was turned.  It contained a "World's Best Teacher" award, and it was signed, "The Kid in the Black Gap Shirt."
I thought that was pretty insightful, seeing as if he had signed his name, I wouldn't have known who it was from.
Also, this was only two hours into class, I think they award may have been a bit premature.

I got to cover a recess.  At one point, while watching the kids on the snow hill, one girl got to the top and screamed, "NO ONE CAN JUDGE WOMEN!"  I have no idea why she said this, but it was met with cheers from the other girls on the snow hill.

An Elementary Music Teacher

I subbed today for an elementary music teacher.

I was in a building for the first time today.  They actually gave me the code to get into the staff restroom.  I've never felt so welcome.  No, seriously.  This is a big deal.

Also, I got to watch The King and I, nearly all the way through.  It was surprisingly good.

An Art Teacher

I subbed today for an art teacher at the high school and elementary levels.

I had a student ask if I was famous, obviously I said "yes."

I colored a leaf today.  Enjoy.

An Elementary Special Education Teacher

I subbed today in an elementary special ed room, specifically a resource room.

It was an easy day, over all, but it wouldn't have been without some amazing parapros.  I never would have thought that a 5 year old could be so violent.

An Elementary Gym Teacher

I subbed for an elementary gym teacher today.

My first graders today were given a "free play day."  What this means is that I pulled a bunch of stuff out of the equipment room, and let them go crazy.  It didn't take too long before I got bored, so I picked up a rubber kickball, and started bouncing it around as I walked.  At some point, a kid accidentally threw a ball at me.  I saw it coming, and made a big show out of bouncing it back to him off the ball in my hand.  He was amazed by this, so I let him do it again.  This was a mistake, it took only a couple seconds before half the class was playing, "let's throw things at Mr. C."  

Quote of the day -
2nd Grader:  "You smell like my dad!"

An Elementary Gym Teacher.

I subbed today for an elementary gym teacher.

It was only a half day, but it was a lot of fun.

I had four classes, each played a variation of freeze-tag and a variation of dodgeball.  The last couple classes I decided to join in on the dodgeball... THAT was a lot of fun, especially since, instead of getting "out" I would just switch teams.

Also, as of about 10 minutes ago, I am officially going to be teaching summer school at a local high school.  It's only four hours a day, four days a week, for six weeks... but I'm still looking forward to it.

Another Third Grade Teacher

I subbed for another 3rd grade teacher today.  I was actually in the room right next door to where I was yesterday.  This resulted in a lot of hugs and shouting of "HI MR. C.!" throughout the day.  Apparently, I'm the only "nice" sub they have ever had.

Right at the very start of class today, a little girl came up to me...
Girl: Hey, I have something to tell you, but it's very sad - my dad died.
Mr. C.:  ...oh, wow, I'm very sorry. Um... when did this happen?
Girl: When I was six.  I'm 9 now.
Mr. C.: Oh......... Why are you telling me this?
Girl: Just so that everyone knows.
Mr. C.: ...Alright...well, I'll keep it in mind.
Girl: Kay!

A Third Grade Teacher

I subbed for a 3rd grade teacher today.

We had a Foster Grandparent in the class today.  He was fantastic.  Usually Foster Grandparents just sit in the back of class and glare at me, like I'm doing everything wrong, but not this guy.  Today would not have gone nearly as well if Grandpa J. hadn't been there.

The students had to write their last letter, today, to their "Soldier Friends."  The note left to me said that I had to approve any letters before they could be considered "done."  One boy handed me a letter with the following line, "I hope none of your friends have gone to Heaven."  I knew what he meant... but that may not have been the most tactful way to put it.  I had him just rephrase the line.

Little Girl: Mr. C.!  Guess what, I came up with a new name for you!
Mr. C.: ...oh?
Little Girl: You're so funny that I'm going to call you Mr. Giggles!
Mr. C.: No... no, you're not.  You can stick to Mr. C. just like everyone else.

During recess, which I had to supervise, a little girl came up to me and show me a caterpillar that she had on a stick.  She told me his name was George, and then gave me his whole life story.  Later, as everyone was lining up to go in, I saw her bawling her eyes out at the back of the line.  When I was finally able to calm her down a bit, she told me that another girl had proclaimed George as "gross," and stepped on him.  She then went back to crying uncontrollably, all the while proclaiming her love for George.  I sent her to Grandpa J.

A Fifth Grade Teacher

I subbed today for a 5th grade teacher.

It was absolutely miserable.  I've been with these guys before, and I knew going in that it was a tough bunch, but today was horrible.  I believe that the heat had a lot to do with it.  It was easily 85 degrees in the classroom today, with the only window opening up to another building's wall 15 feet away.  In the end, I ended up reading to them for 45 minutes, just to keep them quiet.  The book?  A copy of  The World's Most Haunted Places by Jeff Belanger. It was either that or the first Harry Potter book.  I let the pick.

An Elementary Music Teacher

I subbed today for an elementary music teacher.

The following conversation took place after a third grade girl saw the book I'm currently reading, Dearly Devoted Dexter, sitting on a table.

Girl: Oh, is that like the TV show?
Mr. C.: Yeah... I don't think you're old enough to know about that show.  It'll give you nightmares.
Girl: It's okay, I watch it all the time.  I also watch NCIS.  This one episode, this dead guy had his eyes hanging out and everything and even that didn't give me nightmares.
Mr. C.:  Uh huh... alright then...

A Fifth Grade Teacher

I subbed today for  5th grade teacher.

It was a fun day.  I spent about a half hour read poetry to the kids.  I loved it.  They loved it.  It was even part of the lesson.  A good time was had by all.

Teachers: I completely understand that emergencies happen, and there are days when you can't put out materials for a sub ahead of time.  However, on those days when you have to email in your lesson plans, please don't write them to suggest that the day's materials are out on your desk.  Or, if that particular wording is static in your plans, at least make an additional (very specific) note as to where to find things.  I don't mind digging through filing cabinets, or even making copies, but guessing at the worksheet you want, based only on what the board says the kids did yesterday is not helpful for anyone.

A 6th Grade Teacher

I subbed today for a sixth grade teacher.  This school has 6th grade in the elementary.

This was probably one of the wost classes I've subbed for in a long time. 

It turns out that I had NOT read all of the Diary of a Whimpy Kid books.  I started Dog Days today.  With any luck I'll be able to finish it before the end of the year.

When a 6th graders asks you, "why do the veins in my wrist look blue?" don't bother explaining to her that it has more to do with which light wavelengths your skin can not absorb than it does with how much oxygen the blood is carrying.  Expect that their science teacher will have explained the latter theory to them.  Also expect them to think that you're wrong, soley on the basis that you're not a "real teacher."
Try not to worry about what other incorrect information they're learning.

A 6th Grade Teacher

I subbed today for a sixth grade teacher.  This particular school has sixth grade part of elementary school.
My day started off pretty good.  A little girl gave me a flower.



Of course it was clearly meant for her teacher, and she just didn't know what else to do with it.



I finally got to finish Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Ugly Truth.  As you may recall, I started it a few weeks ago but was never able to finish.  I finally got lucky and found another classroom with a copy.

I found a few old sub notes in the teacher's Sub Folder.  I read through a couple, only to find them full of whining and horrible spelling/grammar.  It made me slightly ashamed to count myself amongst them.

I did win the "Best Sub Ever" award, though.  So that's something.



Also, the same girl who gave me a flower also drew a picture of me.

She nailed the general look of menace, but I think she got my hair wrong.

A 5th Grade Teacher

I subbed in a fifth grade classroom today.

The kids were getting raffle tickets today, which they are supposed to go out and sell for a school fundraiser.  The top four prizes?  Beef.  A quarter of a cow, to be exact.