A 12th Grade English Teacher

I subbed today in a senior English class.

We watched Mary Shelley's Frankenstein.  At the same time, there was a strong thunderstorm going on.  On more than one occasion, a climatic scene in the film was punctuated by a BOOM from outside.  It was pretty cool.

Also, apparently this is "Teacher Appreciation Week."  I didn't think teachers were EVER appreciated.  They had pizza in the break room for the staff.  Usually I won't eat the "for staff" munchies, but there were only five of us in the break room, and there was something like 4 large pizzas.  It was much better than the lunch I had brought with me.

A High School English Teacher

I subbed in a brand new school today.
The place was huge.  After the secretary took me to my classroom, I was worried that I would never find my way back to the office.  I also had to take the kids down to the library for my first class.  Since I had no idea where that was, and I didn't want to show weakness, I just said, "alright guys, let's head to the library."  Then followed them.  By the end of the class period, I was concerned that I might not be able to find my way back to the classroom.

During my first class, while I was in the middle of taking attendance, a  student yelled out, "do you believe in Bigfoot?"
Later in the same class I was treated to, "if you could be any animal, what would you be?"


Lastly, for all you "real" teachers out there, please heed these words of wisdom from a friend of mine subbing in Alaska:

Worst thing a teacher can do to a sub? Only provide thirty minutes of work for an hour and twenty minute class.

A Senior English Teacher (Day 2) and a Gym Teacher

I was the same English teacher as I was on Monday.  This would have been day three, except there was a snow day yesterday.  I don't think I will be subbing for her again tomorrow.  I am in the same building, though, covering meetings.  I'm pretty sure that if that teacher is gone again, my assignment will be changed.

I covered for a gym teacher the last hour of the day.  He had the kids playing an interesting variant of dodgeball. They call the game, "Medic Ball."  It plays out just like dodgeball, except if you get hit, you have to sit down.  One player is designated as the "medic," and gets to carry around a little scooter that can be used as a shield.  The medic can't pick up or use balls, but his job is to run the scooter to anyone sitting down, and pull them back to the team's wall, at which point the person is back in the game.  You can win by either getting an entire team to sit down, OR by hitting the medic.

A Senior English Teacher

I covered today for a senior English/journalism teacher that I've subbed for a handful of times in the past.

This time, there was a student teacher, and this was her second week in the classroom.  She was obviously flustered, since her Master Teacher had been gone Thursday and Friday of last week, in addition to today.
I guess the teacher is really sick, because I'm in the class again the next two days, and possibly even a third.

I feel a little sorry for the student teachers from the local colleges.  They are not allowed to sub for their Master Teacher, which means they get a "baby sitter" instead.  When I did my student teaching, it was required that I register as a sub with the local ISD, so that I didn't need a babysitter.  I even got paid for most of the days my Master Teacher was out of the classroom.

A High School English/Speech Teacher

The teacher had given a student specific instructions to film the speeches due to be given today.  Of course, that student decided to skip class, and I ended up filming.  I know how to work a camcorder, but I'm still a bit worried that I might not have "done it properly."  Oh well.

An 8th Grade English Teacher

Mr. C.: ...alright, so that's the plan.  Any question before we head down to the media center?
Student 1: Can I get my book from my locker on the way down?
Mr. C.:  Yep, just be sure to make it quick.  Anyone else?
Student 2: Can I dance?
Mr. C.:  If you want to, but you'll have to leave your friends behind.
Student 2: ...wha..?

An English Teacher

I had some very interesting lesson plans, which the teacher left written on the whiteboard for everyone to see.  Rather than describe them, I just wrote them down.  

Here are the highlights.  

Dear Classes,
These notes are for you.  Do not deviate from the plans.  Also, enjoy working hard while I am not (working hard, that is).
                      With cold, unfeeling and remorseless love,
                                 [Teacher's name]

 Eng. 9B
Students Will:
A) Do everything 9A is doing
B) Try not to be your lame selves

Yearbook
Students Will:
A) Do work, son!
B) Obey, [student name]
C) Try not to behave like complete animals

Guided Academics
Students Will:
A) Behave: Or else!
B) Stay seated, silent, and composed
C) Try to not be the ridiculous middle-school students you are

A Senior English Teacher

I subbed for a senior English teacher today.

The school was having some tech issues this morning, and could not get online to access emails.  The teacher I was subbing for had emailed in her lesson plans, with the idea that the office would print them off to me.  Instead,  the office had to call her and ask her to email them to me, where I could then read them on my phone.  It really wasn't a big deal, but it did mean that I had to be looking at my phone off and on all day.
I'm sure at some point someone important walked by and saw me, then put me on the school's blacklist.

A 6th Grade English Teacher

I subbed for a sixth grade English teacher today.

Kids think it's hilarious whenever I can't find the flag when it comes time to Pledge Allegiance.

Student: Is banana good when mixed with asparagus?
Mr. C.: I have no idea, never tried it.  Next question?

You know a school is in serious trouble when, over the course of the same summer, they lose both their in-school detention teacher AND their librarian.

A High School English Teacher

I subbed for a high school English teacher today.

The lesson plans, while much longer than necessary, only had the kids "finish their notebooks, then free-read.  They should be absolutely silent."
I understand that this must have been a very sudden and unexpected absence, but that is still not much for me to work with, especially when one class has 30 students, and another has 40.
Yeah, 40 students in one tiny, ultra-cramped English classroom.  I would truly like to know how he keeps order.

A High School English Teacher

Frankly, class was boring, and nothing interesting happened during the day.  Obviously I like it when students are showing some maturity, and acting like adults, but it makes it tough to get material for this blog.

Instead, enjoy this little before school gem...

Walking into the building today, I over heard a mother yelling at her middle school age son for licking the frost off the outside of their car window.  The kid was complaining that it tasted like dirt.

A Middle School English Teacher

I subbed today for a middle school English teacher.

Every class period had to go down to the computer lab at the start of class, in order to take some sort of reading test.  We were scheduled to use the main lab, which contains 30 brand new iMacs.  The kids were excited because for nearly all of them, today was their first chance to use the lab; it was mine too.  The teacher left in his notes that this should only take about 30 minutes, that ended up being a gross underestimate.  The first class period had it especially bad, because on top of the kids not knowing how to run the Mac OS, I had to discover the hard way that I needed a teacher with a master key to turn on the power to the computers to even get them running.

A High School Debate/English Teacher

Happy Halloween!
I subbed today for a high school debate/English teacher.

Some days, when a kid starts telling all his friends that he hates me, I feel like I'm doing my job right.
If you're told that screwing around all hour will result in your project being due a day earlier, and you then decide to sit with your buddies and make weird noises, bang your fist on the table, and yell at people, then you really shouldn't be mad at ME for the consequences.   If anything, you should THANK me for being nice enough to give you a heads up.

I've also decided that I must be on the top of this school's call this for subs.  I keep a pretty close eye on the job posting board, but I keep getting calls for jobs at this school before I even see them online.  That must just mean that I'm pretty awesome.

A Spanish/English Teacher

The students were doing research on a paper about a "person, place, or thing important to a Spanish speaking nation."  We were in the classroom, and the kids were working on laptops.  While wandering around the room, making sure kids weren't playing games or on Facebook, I saw one girl's topic was Machu Picchu.  I asked her, "Picchu?  Isn't that a Pokemon?"  Long story short, it turned out she was a foreign exchange student from Brazil, and the reference was completely lost.

Later, a kid asked if he could get his headphones from his locker, to listen to music while working (which the teacher had told me was allowed).  I convinced him that I didn't know what headphones were.

A 10th Grade English Teacher

I subbed today for a 10th grade English teacher.

Being in different schools every day, I see a lot of different students every week.  Naturally, this also means that I encounter a lot of different names.  I think I've mentioned this before, but apparently it is popular to make up your own variation of common names.  I think I've gotten pretty good at sleuthing out how names are "supposed" to be pronounced; more than once I've had students tell me that "no other sub has ever gotten my name right."  The exception to this, however, comes with foreign exchange students.  I don't usually have too much trouble with kids from Spanish speaking countries, because there is a large Spanish speaking population around many of the schools I work in.  Today, though, I had two girls from an Asian country.  When I got to their names on the roll call list I paused for a second, tried out the names a few times in my head, then simply apologized to them that any attempt I might make would just slaughter their names.
At this point I was going to just continue down the list, when a couple girls they'd been talking to before class blurted out, "yeah!  How DO you say your names, anyway?"  They then turned to each other and said, "Isn't it something like, 'ching-chang-chong?'"  The two exchange students didn't seem to catch on to the blatant racism, and started to just slowly pronounce their names for the other two girls.  I squelched the whole conversation and just continued on with taking roll.


I convinced a group of students that I'd never heard of YouTube.  Instead of being shocked and horrified, as I'd hoped, they just gave each other a look, as if to say, "oh, he's old, of course he's never heard of it" and then went on to describe the site.  I was a little insulted.

An English/Spanish Teacher

I subbed today for a high school English/Spanish teacher.

The kids had to pick a topic for a research project.  They had to choose a "person, place, or thing that is important to a Spanish speaking country."  A staggeringly large number of kids picked bullfighting.  Many picked baseball players, singers, and the city of Barcelona.  I had at least one kid in each class who was really unsure of what to do.  My suggestion?  El Chupacabra.

A High School English Teacher

I subbed today for a high school English Teacher.

This must have been a rather impromptu absence, because my lesson plans consisted of a sticky note on top of the movie, Hocus Pocus which read, “please show this movie to all of my classes.”

I got to watch the first hour and twenty minutes of Hocus Pocus four times.

I may have mentioned in the past that from time to time I tend to encounter some severe condescension from the faculty and staff of some buildings.  I never take it personally, because I’m sure they treat all subs that way.  One of the websites I use to accept subbing jobs has a section called “notes,” where teachers can leave brief notes (surprise, surprise) for a prospective sub.  Today a posting popped up with the following note:  “Be a teacher – not a babysitter.”  Even if the school weren’t further away than I’d like, I still wouldn’t accept a job where the teacher has an attitude with the sub before they even know who that sub is going to be. 

On a related note, I just re-checked the job site before posting this and someone out there took the job.  I sincerely wish them the best of luck.

A High School Biology/English Teacher

Sometimes when kids start asking me personal questions, I just make stuff up.

Apparently, at some point, I told these kids that I'm a big fan of show tunes.  It's weird the sort of stuff they DO remember.

A High School English/Biology Teacher

Student: What do you like to do for fun?
Mr. C:   Torment and yell at students.
Student: Oh... how's your day going so far?
Mr. C:  I'm having a blast.

A High School English/Math Teacher

A student and I decided that this is the Cadillac of staplers.