Sometimes I meet such interesting people.
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
A 6th Grade Teacher
I subbed today for a sixth grade teacher. This school has 6th grade in the elementary.
This was probably one of the wost classes I've subbed for in a long time.
It turns out that I had NOT read all of the Diary of a Whimpy Kid books. I started Dog Days today. With any luck I'll be able to finish it before the end of the year.
When a 6th graders asks you, "why do the veins in my wrist look blue?" don't bother explaining to her that it has more to do with which light wavelengths your skin can not absorb than it does with how much oxygen the blood is carrying. Expect that their science teacher will have explained the latter theory to them. Also expect them to think that you're wrong, soley on the basis that you're not a "real teacher."
Try not to worry about what other incorrect information they're learning.
This was probably one of the wost classes I've subbed for in a long time.
It turns out that I had NOT read all of the Diary of a Whimpy Kid books. I started Dog Days today. With any luck I'll be able to finish it before the end of the year.
When a 6th graders asks you, "why do the veins in my wrist look blue?" don't bother explaining to her that it has more to do with which light wavelengths your skin can not absorb than it does with how much oxygen the blood is carrying. Expect that their science teacher will have explained the latter theory to them. Also expect them to think that you're wrong, soley on the basis that you're not a "real teacher."
Try not to worry about what other incorrect information they're learning.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
7th Grade Language Arts/History Teacher
I subbed today for a seventh grade language arts/history teacher.
She had a full classroom set of the novelization of Star Trek: Nemesis.
She had a full classroom set of the novelization of Star Trek: Nemesis.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Another Freshman English Teacher
I subbed for yet another freshman English teacher today.
This guy had some odd wall art.
This guy had some odd wall art.
 |
| Yep. That's William Shakespeare kicking a soccer ball. |
Friday, May 6, 2011
An English/Drama Teacher
I subbed today for an English/drama teacher. Most of my day was spent on freshman English, so I'm starting to get a bit burned out on it; at least it is a different school from earlier this week. In fact, this was my first time subbing in this particular high school.
Over all, today was memorable day, and also a day for several firsts.
I thought I'd taught pretty much everything out there. I've taught algebra. I've taught poetry and Shakespeare. I've overseen cooking classes. I've refereed most gym games you can think of. I've given constructive criticism in art class and (badly) conducted middle school orchestras, not to mention the social studies spectrum, in which I'm actually certified. But today was my first day in a drama class.
Today was also the first time I've kicked a student out for calling back, "your mom!" when I asked the class for the last name of an absent student.
I had a bizarre encounter with a student today. Just before school and between classes I was supposed to stand out in front of the classroom door, to help keep an eye on the hallway. Before school started I had the following conversation with a girl who's locker just happened to be right next to where I was standing.
Girl, her eyes wide: Ooh... who are you?
Mr. C.: Mr. C, who are you? -------> This is my standard reply to the "who are you" question.
Girl: [Name]... you look like an interesting person.
Mr. C.: Uhh... thanks? I try.
Girl: Yeeaahhh.... your mustache is just fantastic...
Mr. C.: ...Alright then, thanks...
At which point I turned and walked back into the classroom. There were a few more odd exchanges throughout the day, as I monitored the halls between classes. Including...
Girl: I've never seen you here before. You should make sure to sub again, I don't have [name of teacher I'm subbing for].
Mr. C.: ...Well, the year's nearly over, so who knows if I'll ever get back here.
And I overheard the following as she was walking past the door...
Girl to friend: That's [name of teacher I'm subbing for]'s sub... doesn't he look like an interesting person?
I have no idea what the hell I did to look like an "interesting person."
Lastly, this conversation took place during one my classes. This is NOT the same girl from above.
Girl: Mr. C., you know what actor you kinda remind me of?
Mr. C.: Zach Galifianakis?
Girl: Oh my God! How'd you know?
Mr. C.: I hear it nearly every day.
Girl: Wow! That's so awesome!
Mr. C.: Yeah. Real awesome.
Over all, today was memorable day, and also a day for several firsts.
I thought I'd taught pretty much everything out there. I've taught algebra. I've taught poetry and Shakespeare. I've overseen cooking classes. I've refereed most gym games you can think of. I've given constructive criticism in art class and (badly) conducted middle school orchestras, not to mention the social studies spectrum, in which I'm actually certified. But today was my first day in a drama class.
Today was also the first time I've kicked a student out for calling back, "your mom!" when I asked the class for the last name of an absent student.
I had a bizarre encounter with a student today. Just before school and between classes I was supposed to stand out in front of the classroom door, to help keep an eye on the hallway. Before school started I had the following conversation with a girl who's locker just happened to be right next to where I was standing.
Girl, her eyes wide: Ooh... who are you?
Mr. C.: Mr. C, who are you? -------> This is my standard reply to the "who are you" question.
Girl: [Name]... you look like an interesting person.
Mr. C.: Uhh... thanks? I try.
Girl: Yeeaahhh.... your mustache is just fantastic...
Mr. C.: ...Alright then, thanks...
At which point I turned and walked back into the classroom. There were a few more odd exchanges throughout the day, as I monitored the halls between classes. Including...
Girl: I've never seen you here before. You should make sure to sub again, I don't have [name of teacher I'm subbing for].
Mr. C.: ...Well, the year's nearly over, so who knows if I'll ever get back here.
And I overheard the following as she was walking past the door...
Girl to friend: That's [name of teacher I'm subbing for]'s sub... doesn't he look like an interesting person?
I have no idea what the hell I did to look like an "interesting person."
Lastly, this conversation took place during one my classes. This is NOT the same girl from above.
Girl: Mr. C., you know what actor you kinda remind me of?
Mr. C.: Zach Galifianakis?
Girl: Oh my God! How'd you know?
Mr. C.: I hear it nearly every day.
Girl: Wow! That's so awesome!
Mr. C.: Yeah. Real awesome.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
A Freshman English Teacher... Again
I subbed today for a freshman English teacher, the same one I subbed for on Tuesday.
I got to watch the ending of the 1997 Romeo and Juliet five times today. It is a neat adaptation.
During one class I was explaining how to fill out an outline for an essay they were going to start writing. As I began pointing out details on the sheet one student, without saying a word, stood up, leaned against a wall, and just stared at me with his fingers in his ears. Some of the kids in the class had reason to hate me (I'm one of those a-hole subs that tend to enforce classroom rules), but he wasn't one of them. It didn't make any sense.
I'm also starting to REALLY hate the iPod Touch. Teachers, please realize that every district, and every building in each district, tend to be slightly different when it comes to rules about technology. However, despite the different rules, all kids either have an iPod or a cell phone that they can play games on and listen to music. Please make up a static note mentioning your rules about such things. ALL students WILL insist that they're allowed to use such things in class when there is a sub in the room, regardless of if it is true or not.
More often than not it isn't a battle worth fighting, but it gets to be pretty obnoxious.
Lastly, and this is still directed at any teachers reading this, when you don't follow through with consequences for noted behavior problems, all subs everywhere die a little inside.
I got to watch the ending of the 1997 Romeo and Juliet five times today. It is a neat adaptation.
During one class I was explaining how to fill out an outline for an essay they were going to start writing. As I began pointing out details on the sheet one student, without saying a word, stood up, leaned against a wall, and just stared at me with his fingers in his ears. Some of the kids in the class had reason to hate me (I'm one of those a-hole subs that tend to enforce classroom rules), but he wasn't one of them. It didn't make any sense.
I'm also starting to REALLY hate the iPod Touch. Teachers, please realize that every district, and every building in each district, tend to be slightly different when it comes to rules about technology. However, despite the different rules, all kids either have an iPod or a cell phone that they can play games on and listen to music. Please make up a static note mentioning your rules about such things. ALL students WILL insist that they're allowed to use such things in class when there is a sub in the room, regardless of if it is true or not.
More often than not it isn't a battle worth fighting, but it gets to be pretty obnoxious.
Lastly, and this is still directed at any teachers reading this, when you don't follow through with consequences for noted behavior problems, all subs everywhere die a little inside.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
A Middle School History/Geography Teacher
I subbed today for a middle school history/geography teacher.
The history classes were watching Uncle Tom's Cabin. It was during one of these classes that I overheard the following conversation.
Student 1: Who is that actor? I think I've seen him in other stuff.
Student 2: That's Samuel L. Jackson.
Student 1: Who?
Student 3: You're an idiot, no it isn't. Samuel L. Jackson is white.
Mr. C.: *Fights against the urge to slam his own head through the desk*
The geography classes were all making detailed maps of the camp from which they had recently returned. They told me that they had spent several nights there. I had three blocks of geography, and during the first two nearly all the kids had a lot to do, and spent the hour doing it. The last block, however, had many finished students. One of those students was driving me crazy; bouncing all over the room, disrupting others who were working, etc. Eventually I allowed him to get a book from his locker on the condition that he'd sit still and read it. He brought back a Pokemon guide book, which kept him busy for all of five minutes. At this point I had an idea. After asking him to look up two or three specific Pokemon stats, I got bored with the game and just told him, "make me a list of all the Pokemon that don't appear in SoulSilver." Knowing this would be a rather long list, I figured it would take him a while. It took him a full 30 minutes, but shortly before the end of class he handed me the list. I was rather impressed.
The history classes were watching Uncle Tom's Cabin. It was during one of these classes that I overheard the following conversation.
Student 1: Who is that actor? I think I've seen him in other stuff.
Student 2: That's Samuel L. Jackson.
Student 1: Who?
Student 3: You're an idiot, no it isn't. Samuel L. Jackson is white.
Mr. C.: *Fights against the urge to slam his own head through the desk*
The geography classes were all making detailed maps of the camp from which they had recently returned. They told me that they had spent several nights there. I had three blocks of geography, and during the first two nearly all the kids had a lot to do, and spent the hour doing it. The last block, however, had many finished students. One of those students was driving me crazy; bouncing all over the room, disrupting others who were working, etc. Eventually I allowed him to get a book from his locker on the condition that he'd sit still and read it. He brought back a Pokemon guide book, which kept him busy for all of five minutes. At this point I had an idea. After asking him to look up two or three specific Pokemon stats, I got bored with the game and just told him, "make me a list of all the Pokemon that don't appear in SoulSilver." Knowing this would be a rather long list, I figured it would take him a while. It took him a full 30 minutes, but shortly before the end of class he handed me the list. I was rather impressed.
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