A Pretend 7th Grade Band Teacher

I subbed for a middle school math teacher today.  However, during what would have been my prep hour, I had to cover for a middle school band class.

The whole class period involved the kids watching the Original Star Trek episode, The Return of the Archons.   They even had a worksheet to fill out as they watched!

I don't know how this fits into the curriculum for a music class... but that's not for me to understand.  I just follow directions.

A Pretend Gym Teacher

Last week I had two separate assignments as history teachers.  During both of those assignments I was asked to sub for a gym teacher on what would have been a prep period.

The first day I was in a very large class being co-taught with another gym teacher.  She was there that day, so I just needed to supervise.  The class was having a badminton tournament.  About 15 minutes in the other teacher asked me if I wanted to be her partner against a pair of students with no one else to play.  I agreed, and quickly discovered two things.  1) I am HORRIBLE at badminton (though the teacher and the students were cool about it.... going so far as to let me re-serve shots when I missed the shuttlecock entirely) .  2) Badminton is a surprisingly athletic game, and wearing a button-down shirt and tie while playing is a very bad idea.
On a side note, the other teacher and I DID end up winning a very close game.  I'm pretty sure if I hadn't been given an unofficial handicap we would have lost.  Also, she nailed a kid directly in the eye with a shuttlecock, then laughed at him once she realized he hadn't lost any vision.

The second day was a much smaller gym class, and the students were playing Pickle Ball, and I also joined in on a game the last 10 minutes of class.  Despite all appearances it was much more difficult than badminton.  It was good that the group I was playing with weren't really keeping score.  In fact they were not all that interested in the competitive aspect of the game period.

A High School Biology Teacher

Yesterday I subbed for a high school biology teacher.  It was the last day of the trimester, and two of the four class periods were taking an exam.

About 10 minutes into first period, when all the kids were silently working, the feeder crickets in the back started to chirp.  It was so perfectly timed that at first I thought a kid was playing a sound effect from their phone.  It was pretty funny.

Twenty minutes later a chair (which had been put up over night) fell off an unused table in the back.  It was very loud, and very unexpected.  After a few startled screams, most of the kids started laughing, and saying that the classroom is haunted.  A few others started saying that it was a bad sign, and that I should cancel the test.

Later in the day, one of the class periods had already taken their exam, so we watched an episode of the BBC documentary series, Planet Earth.

The segment below really freaked the kids out.

A 7th Grade Science Teacher

I picked up a four day block for a local seventh day science teacher.  This is very odd, as most teachers/districts will hand-select subs for such a long period of time.
It turned out that the teacher has been gone for the past three weeks, and they've had a string of different subs in to cover for her.  This has had a very strong impact on the kids.

The following conversation manifested without any prior context.  In fact, all the other kids were working on an assignment.
A student walked up to me...
Student: "Hey, you know how they dumped Osama in the ocean?"
Mr. C: "Uh...okay..."
Student: "That must make for one messed up Spongebob."
Mr. C: *long pause* "......sit down and get back to work."

A High School Art Teacher

I spent 3 days this week as a high school art teacher.
The teacher's absence was very sudden and unexpected.  I was left with instructions that pretty much consisted of, "keep working on existing projects.  If someone finishes, have them start a new project of their choice.  If all else fails, have them work on homework."
I managed to keep kids working on artsy stuff for the first two days, but by day three nearly all kids were exclusively working on homework.

Friday morning was especially bad.  We had a pretty good sized snow storm, but because of the number of snow days already used this year, school was not cancelled.  I left home about 15 minutes early, expecting to be slowed down a bit.  Twenty minutes out, I knew I wasn't going to make it on time, so I called the school to let them know.  When I finally arrived, 15 minutes after school started, they were happy that I manged to show up at all.  Several subs had been scheduled that day, and all but one other had cancelled outright.

One student, right before lunch, decided he was going to channel Jackson Pollock.  Despite setting up several safety measures to prevent making a mess, he managed to get a few small red drops of paint on the bright white jerseys of several varsity basketball players.  Needless to say, the athletes were a little upset.  They held themselves in check very well, and the situation did not escalate, but for a few moments I thought there might be real trouble.

A Band Director

I recently subbed for a band director.  I had both middle school and high school classes.

The middle school band got to watch a movie.  The picked The Land Before Time.  A large number of them (mostly boys) laughed loudly when Littlefoot's Mother died.  I know they were just trying to show off how "tough" they are, but it was still disturbing.

One high school "Music Appreciation" class picked Star Wars: Return of the Jedi over the other Star Wars movies.  This isn't a choice that I can understand.


I started this blog in March 2011.  Just recently I passed 10,000 hits.  I think that's pretty good for just shy of two years.

Thank you all!

A 7th Grade Math Teacher

A few days ago I subbed for a seventh grade math teacher.
There was a student teacher, so I expected the day to be pretty easy.  It was still early in her semester, so she was a little green, but over all pretty good.  In fact, the only real issue I had was that she never explained who I was.
Now, just to be clear, I am not trying to "steal her spotlight," nor am I looking for extra attention.  With her Master Teacher gone, it was her time to shine and be a Real Teacher in the eyes of her students. I've been there.  I get it.  However, the concern I had was that I'd only been in the building once before, and the kids didn't know me.  They kept watching me.  I heard many whispers of, "who's that guy?"
A quick, "Mr. Stevenson is gone today, and this is Mr. C subbing for him, but I'll be teaching today" would have been more than enough to keep my presence from being a distraction.

The main teacher showed up during lunch.  He kept saying, "I can't stay," but he was there the rest of the day.  I proctored some tests for him.  He didn't introduce me either.  He just told the kids, "go with that guy."

Also...

7th Grade Girl: Do you like Justin Bieber?
Mr. C.: Never met him.