A High School English Teacher

I subbed in a brand new school today.
The place was huge.  After the secretary took me to my classroom, I was worried that I would never find my way back to the office.  I also had to take the kids down to the library for my first class.  Since I had no idea where that was, and I didn't want to show weakness, I just said, "alright guys, let's head to the library."  Then followed them.  By the end of the class period, I was concerned that I might not be able to find my way back to the classroom.

During my first class, while I was in the middle of taking attendance, a  student yelled out, "do you believe in Bigfoot?"
Later in the same class I was treated to, "if you could be any animal, what would you be?"


Lastly, for all you "real" teachers out there, please heed these words of wisdom from a friend of mine subbing in Alaska:

Worst thing a teacher can do to a sub? Only provide thirty minutes of work for an hour and twenty minute class.

A Physics Teacher

I was a science teacher today.
Not the same teacher I mentioned in my last entry.

Part of today's lesson involved going over homework.  This involved having kids come up to the board and writing out how they solved various physics problems.  The teacher left me an answer key that showed the major steps for each questions.
Even with the key in hand, some of what the kids were doing still looked like alchemy.

The second part of the lesson involved several book problems and a worksheet.  A lot of kids were able to get both done with a little time to spare.  With about 5 minutes left in one period, while circulating around the room, I walked into an overwhelming cloud of some sort of sweet citrus scented spray.  At the nearest table sat two boys, in their varsity football jerseys.  I asked them...
Mr. C.: Hey guys, did one of you just dose yourself in some kind of stinky spray?
Guy 1: Huh?  Oh, yeah, we smelled that too.  I think it's coming from them. *points at nearby table, where four girls are sitting*
Mr. C.: Are you sure?  It really smells like it is coming from over here...
Guy 2:  Yeah, it's not us, we smell like new cars.
Mr. C.: New cars.....?
Guy 2: Yeah, we got new jerseys for the play-off games.  They smell like new cars.  Here, sniff!  *He moves towards me, lifting the jersey away from his shoulder*
Mr. C.: *Taking a step back*  Yeah.  No.  Sorry.  I'll take your word for it.  There is no way I'm going to sniff a football jersey.
Guy 2: Come on!  It's clean, we just got them.  It really does smell like a new car! *takes a big sniff of his own shoulder*
Mr. C.: That is great, really.  But nothing you say or do will get me to sniff a jersey.

A Science Teacher

I spent Tuesday and Wednesday this week subbing for a science teacher.
It is the same teacher I subbed for a few weeks back.
One of the classes took a test, identifying the parts of a crayfish.  Some of the directions were not very clear, and my lack of crayfish expertise kept me from being able to help them.  I always feel bad about that sort of thing.

Thursday was the Opening Day of Firearm Deer Season.  It is celebrated as a holiday.  All area schools were cancelled, and on Wednesday the kids could only talk about their opening day plans.
One boy was bragging that he was going to be able to bring his iPad out with him, and play on that while waiting.