Oblivious

The following conversation happened today at the end of my 7th grade history class.

Boy: Mr. C, have you seen Pacific Rim?
Mr. C: Yep, I have.
Boy: Pretty awesome, right?
Mr. C: Oh yeah, I really liked it.
Boy: So... you know how that one guy was partnered with his dad?  And how they can share memories?
Mr. C:  Yeah...?
Boy: Do you think that means he can see the memory of when he was conceived?
Mr. C: ......I'm just going to pretend like you didn't ask me that.....

On a Roll

It has been a few months since I posted.  In that time I have not had a single experience like the one described in my previous entry.
I have had a LOT of snow days, though.  In fact, today is my 12th snow day.  I really feel bad for subs in the area.

This past weekend I agreed to chaperon a middle school dance/lock-in.  The dance was pretty hilarious; boys along one wall, girls along another.  Eventually the high school National Honor Society students putting it on got kids on the dance floor.  They held a limbo contest towards the end.  I got in line and tried, but fell on my knees on the first attempt.  The kids thought it was hilarious.  One of my 7th graders filmed it, and I got her to email it to me.  The video is awesome because you can hear the girl and her friend narrating.  "What is he doing?!  Can he even make it?!"  I would really like to post the video here, but as it shows dozens of the kids at my school, you'll have to just take my word on how great it is.

Yesterday I had my first puker.  With about 15 minutes left, one of my 7th graders raises his hand and says, "I don't feel good, I'm really warm.  I think I'm gonna be sick."
And then... he did.  All over his books, papers, binder, and desk.  Considering the volume, very little of it actually made it to the floor.
The rest of the class was VERY mature about it.  At that time they were all working on a worksheet.  There were a lot of quite "eeeww"s, but they kept working.
I was (and still am) impressed by their level of maturity.
Later in the day two other teachers asked me about my "morning floorshow."  Apparently word got around.


And the year goes on.

Enlightened.

For a while I forgot this blog existed.  My previous post was just over a month ago, but it feels like a lot more time has passed.
As I discussed in previous posts, I've accepted a full-time teaching job.  We're on week three of school.
Periods 1,2,3 I teach 7th grade history.
4,5,6 I drive down to the alternative ed. school to teach English.
7th hour I drive back to teach high school current events.

So, I'm out of school sick today.  I went in yesterday with what I thought was just a minor cold, something I could just muscle through.  Without going into detail, things got much worse as the day went on.  Come 7th hour, I was more focused on seeing a doctor than getting things around for the next day.
When I got home, I posted for a sub.  Someone I don't know, teaching my kids?  It's a bit nerve wracking.
Because this was last minute, I had to completely re-do my lesson plans for the day.  With that said, though, I think I wrote pretty good sub plans.  I've got a pretty good idea what subs want to know to make their lives easier.

I cannot wait to see how things went.

I've got another sub coming in on Friday because I'll be out of town for a conference.

A "Real" Teacher (Summer 2013 - Part 3)

Session 2 of summer school is well underway.
I've got 14 American History B students, and one World History student.  This is a much smaller and more manageable group than session 1.

Recently I overheard two girls arguing about which of them was "more redneck."  The deciding factor ultimately balanced upon which of the two hated tofu more.

I'm not sure which of them won, but I fear society as a whole may have lost.

Employed Full-Time

It finally happened.
I've accepted a full-time teaching position.  It is in a small, rural district.  I've subbed there a LOT, and many of the postings in this blog have come from there.  I completed a couple long-term subbing assignments there, including the art position that I blogged about.
I feel as if I know the school's culture well, along with much of the staff.  I'm much more excited about working in this district than I would be elsewhere.

I believe I will be teaching three blocks of 7th grade social studies, one "to-be-determined" social studies elective, and two blocks of alternative ed.  I go in on Thursday to fill out paperwork.  I'm hoping that I'll know more then.

I'll still be teaching the last session of summer school starting August 5th, until August 22nd.

I'm not sure what direction my blog will take after that.  I might take this one in a new direction, or I might start something new.  I guess we'll see.

a "Real" Teacher (Summer 2013 - Part 2)

Session 1 of summer school, 2013 has ended.
This is my third summer teaching in this program, and this has been, by far, the most challenging session yet.  I had never encountered such a large percentage of students who absolutely refused to participate in the class in any way (meaningful or otherwise).
Luckily for them (and me?) most of them decided to get their head in the game the last couple days, once they realized that if they didn't, they would fail my class, and have to either retake American History during the regular year, or take it in summer 2014.
A couple days before the end of the session, I put together lists of missing assignments for all of my students. This prompted the following exchange with one student, who had an exceptionally long list.

Student: What is this?  You expect me to do all this in two days?
Mr. C: No.  I  had expected you to do all this over the past two and a half weeks.

On Friday, when I finally got all my grades in, I found that most of the students I was most worried about had managed to squeak by in the low 60% range.  Only two failed, both in the 20% range.

When session 2 starts up again in August I'll be teaching the second half of American History to a much smaller group.  There are several familiar names on the roster, but not many.  We'll see how it goes.




On a completely unrelated note, if you're interested in teaching related blogs, check out one that a friend of mine recently started.  I quoted him once before, when he was living and subbing in Alaska.  Today he is teaching in South Korea.

I suggest starting with his introductory entry, A Long Time Coming.

A "Real" Teacher (Summer 2013 - Part 1)

I'm teaching summer school again this year.  It is my third year teaching in a credit-recovery program.  These kids are with me because they failed their class the first time around.

My class is MUCH larger than in the past.  I've got 24 American history students, and 1 world history student.  In the past I've had not more than 12 kids at a time, though at least right now I've only got two classes happening, instead of four.

With a group this size, all taking the same subject, I feel like I should be able to treat this as a "normal" class. However, I discovered very quickly that such a tactic does not work.  Those 24 kids are with me because they failed American history for first time around.  I have to keep reminding myself that I've got EXCLUSIVELY the kids that "don't want to be there."  This session started Thursday of last week, and every day I've had to remind students about what's at stake.

I love teaching American history.  It's fun, interesting, and (frankly) really easy to make relevant.  However, with this group, I find myself just telling them, "if you fail with me, you'll have to do it again, for an entire semester."

Enough seriousness.

Today I had a student eat three grease-bomb breakfast sandwiches during our first morning break.  He bragged loudly about it at first, but it didn't take long for him to turn white and sit quietly holding his stomach.  When I asked what was up, he said he felt really sick.  I didn't have any pity.

Later, while in the hallway during a break...

Random Girl:  "Oh God, I'm gonna have to pee like a banshee after all that coffee."

A History/P.E. Teacher

I subbed today for a Social Studies/Gym teacher.

Most of my gym classes today played soccer.  I guess this was injury day.  One girl pulled a muscle in her leg.  One girl twisted her ankle.  Two boys tried to catch the ball with their face.  Luckily there was no blood or broken limbs.

The seventh grade history class had an awesome assignment.  They were given a fictional report on a 4000 year old archaeological dig site.  They had to draw pictures of all the items described in the report, and suggest how the items may have been used.  Once they finished, I gave them a picture of the dig site.  It turned out that the scene they read about was a modern motel bathroom, where someone had died in the bathtub.
I thought the assignment was fun.

The final image.

A US History Teacher and a Special Ed Teacher (plus a BONUS rant!)

Today was exciting.
I excepted a job posting to teach high school US History.  When I arrived at the school this morning, I found out that, despite what the job posting said, I was only getting a half day's work (and pay).
Something similar to this happened a month so ago in this same district.  I had planned on registering a very firm complaint about this at the end of the assignment.  Before that could happen, though, I was asked if I could fill in the rest of the day for another teacher, who's sub had not shown up.  I was told that if I accepted I would be paid for two half days, rather than one half day.
I probably should have complained anyway, on principle, but by the end of the day I just wanted out of the building.

The second half of the day was spent with a special education class.  I had a lunch period separating the two parts of my day, and I ate in the special ed room so that I could go over the lesson plans.  The remaining two class periods of the day were rather vague.  They simply talked about taking the kids to the library, with no mention of what they were supposed to do.
Near the end of lunch another teacher came in, asking if I knew about the trip to the library.  I told him that I had seen it mentioned, but no specifics were given.  At this point he explained that my class was meeting up with two other special ed classes, and they were all taking a public bus across town to the public library.
The trip was really very easy.  I was told that the teachers usually just spread out around the building and read, trying to set a "good example" for the students, who pretty much just screw around the whole time.
We returned to school with about 25 minutes left in the day.  The kids were wound up pretty high, and I was not left with any material to fit the situation.  I told them to "sit and read quietly."  Most did, the rest sat and talked, thinking I couldn't hear them.

Okay, so, here's my question to all you other subs out there...
If you accepted an assignment online which was posted as being an entire day (at a full-day's pay), and when you arrived you were told that the assignment was only a half day... would you be upset?  Would you feel cheated?  Am I being melodramatic?

Personally, I won't accept partial day assignments unless it is the day of, and there are no full-day assignments available.  I feel like the district is cheating me - a "bait and switch" sort of deal.
As I said, I had a similar problem with this district a while back.  I didn't write about it, and I probably never will.  I usually try to keep the material here positive and funny (or at least light-hearted).
Suffice it to say, I was under the impression that the district understood why posting jobs incorrectly (in regard to the pay scale) was not in their best interest.

An Awesome History Teacher

I found the following item sitting on the teacher's desk.

Poke (base) ball

He had a rubber shark with a laser pointer taped to its head hanging from the ceiling.

The kids told me he has an armory of Nerf swords locked in a cabinet.

I don't know this guy, but he is clearly awesome.

An 8th Grade American History Teacher

Today we watched an episode of the History Channel's documentary series, America, the Story of Us.
I love the series, and I've used it in my own (Summer School) classroom.
However, it gets old when you see the same episode 5 times in a row.

When reading the following conversation, keep in mind that this is only the 2nd week or school, and my first time in this building this school year.

8th Grade Boy: Hey, Mr. C!  Do you remember me?
Mr. C.: Oh.  Yeah.  You're that kid.  You did that one thing, that one time.
8th Grade Boy: Yeah! *Super excited, to a friend* He remembers me!

A Job Hunter and A Social Studies Teacher (Summer 2012)

I have just finished the first week of the August secession of summer school.
The program ran for three weeks back in June, and I've now got two more weeks left in August.

I have about twice as many kids this time; 11 instead of 6.  I've got four different classes going on at the same time.  That isn't really too difficult to manage, but I've got a couple students who won't stay on task unless I'm watching over them directly.  Another student works really well by himself if I leave him alone, but he has a fancy pair of Beats by Dre headphones, and blasts them into his ears at max volume.  Sometimes he will burst briefly into song for a few seconds.  It's actually pretty funny, and since he's working so well I ignore it.

For those of you keeping track, I did not get that job I mentioned a while back.  In fact, I've only had three interviews all summer.  Despite numerous sent applications.
This past Monday I interviewed for a parapro position at a local alternative ed school.  The job sounded awesome, and the interview went really well, except that it ended with them telling me that I was overqualified.  They also said that it paid a good deal less than I would make subbing five days a week.

On Tuesday I interviewed with a local company that provides security to the University's home football games.  After explaining how my experience wrangling teenagers is actually quite similar to crowd control, the interviewer told me that she thought I "would be a very good fit for the student section."  This job is, for now, only seven home games, but it is in the evenings and weekends, so it should be interesting.
Maybe I'll keep you posted.

A Social Studies Teacher (Summer 2012)

As I mentioned in a previous post, I am once again working as a summer school teacher.  It is a credit-recovery program, for kids who failed the first time around.

The summer is broken up into two 3-week blocks; one now (June) and another in August.
This first block is turning out to be pretty easy.  I've got three students in  "World History A," and four students in "American History B."
Just like last year, though, I feel like I have way too much content to fit into a three-week block.  I have the kids for three hours a day, four days a week.  This particular school is on a trimester schedule, so all classes run in 12 week blocks, for about an hour and 15 minutes a day.  All of this means that I need to cover a week's worth of material every day.

On the plus side, a couple of the kids seem to remember SOME of what they learned the first time they took the class.  Once in a while I will get an "oooh!  I remember this!"
Not often enough, though.

A 7th Grade Social Studies Teacher

The following conversations happened during two separate class periods.



Mr. C: And that's how a hydroelectric dam works.  Any questions?
*Girl in front raises hand*
Mr. C:  Yes?
Girl: What brand gel do you use in your hair
Mr. C: .......off-hand, I honestly can't remember..... any OTHER questions?
*Boy in the back raises his hand*
Mr. C: Yes, sir?
Boy: Is it "Got 2B Spike Up" brand?
Mr. C: ......*sigh* Yes, as a matter of fact, I think it is.  Good guess.  Now, any MORE questions?
*Several other hands shoot up*
Mr. C:  ...any more questions that AREN'T about my hair? *All hands go down* That's what I thought.  Moving on...

A Science Teacher and a Social Studies Teacher

I covered some meetings today.
I was a science teacher in the morning, and a social studies teacher in the afternoon.

There is nothing like getting paid to watch Mythbusters.

The social studies teacher had the students playing bingo as a vocab review, using Skittles for markers.  A few minutes before the end of class, one student went around picking up all the Skittles everyone had dropped throughout the day, and came up with a small handful.  I knew his intention was to eat them, and part of me wanted to stop him.  However, I figured he's a high school student; if he wants to eat floor-Skittles, that's his business.

A Spanish/World History History Teacher.

I got to watch an episode of American Family today, along with the first 40 minutes of In the Time of the Butterflies; both staring Edward James Olmos.  American Family was pretty good, especially after the 3rd time and I realized the a large portion of the episode was a flash back.  Prior to that realization I was really confused why the baby and the 8 year old boy both had the same name and the same mother.

I also covered for an 8th grade computer teacher.  The kids had to do an "internet scavenger hunt."  They were given various websites, and had to answer questions on the sites.  Sounds easy enough, right?  Well, the first thing most of these little angels did was go to Answers.com instead, and just type in the question.  When I told them, "no, that isn't how we're doing this.  Part of this assignment is that you learn how to do your own research online," they acted as if I had just kicked their puppy.  When the whining finally stopped, I caught several kids just typing the questions into Google.  As if I'm not going to know that that is the exact same thing.
I'm going to sound like an old man here, but when I was their age, and I wanted to find out how many rooms were in the White House, I had to look it up in a book!

A High School Science Teacher and a High School History Teacher

I covered some meetings today for a history teacher, then a science teacher.

We got to watch a couple episodes of I,Caveman today.  It was pretty neat.


Also, I forgot to add this yesterday...

A skeleton, locked firmly in the closet.

A High School Social Studies Teacher.

I subbed today for a high school social studies teacher.

My 4th period class was out in one of the portable classrooms behind the school.  I'm glad I made sure to get there early, because the heat hadn't been on all day and it was freezing in there.  His lesson plans also strongly implied that the rest of my classes for the day were out there.  Since the building did not have bells, and its clock wasn't synced to the building clocks it took a couple extra minutes for me to realize "oh, hey... no kids are showing up."  I was a couple minutes late for my next class.  Oops.

Apparently one of the teachers at this school told the kids that I am mixed-martial arts instructor, and that there are a handful of states I'm not allowed to teach in because my hands are considered "deadly weapons."  I picked up on what they were talking about just in time to act very humble and say, "I can't really talk about this."
Sadly, the teacher was gone today so I couldn't ask him about it.

An American History Teacher

I subbed for an American History teacher today.

I got to watch a very interesting video about George Washington.  The dude was 6'3", 180 lbs.  He must have been ripped.

The school's varsity football team is going to state finals on Saturday, so they don't have school tomorrow to celebrate.  I think their priorities are clear.

I picked up today's job yesterday.  The way it works is, teachers can post leave requests online, and any sub who is online at the time can pick it up (or the system calls subs, but it is all automated).  The system is set up so that once you've got a job for any given day, you will not be offered, or even be able to see other jobs.  Imagine my surprise when I got a call this morning from the system, offering me Kindergarten job for today.  It turns out that the automated system lost ALL the data on jobs posted/accepted yesterday.
When I got to school, the secretaries were scrambling to fill jobs.  I only showed up because, at the last minute, the system posted a note explaining the problem, and said that subs should report to any jobs they had previously excepted.
Clearly this automated system is better than having humans manage the subbing data.

A High School Social Studies Teacher

I subbed today for a high school social studies teacher.

I sub for this teacher all the time, so the kids know me pretty well, and I'm well past the phase with them where they want to test my limits.  What this means for this blog is that nothing interesting tends to happen on days that I'm in that classroom.

Today, however, I covered a 7th grade class during what would have been my prep hour.  A kid drew a picture of me.
Enjoy.